I have created this E-Course for couples around the world because over the past decade in private practice, I have seen many of the same communication patterns show up for couples over and again. The lack of emotion centered communication or dialogue is a cultural and systemic issue seated in the belief that vulnerability is a weakness. Unfortunately, when it comes to maintaining intimacy and connection in a romantic relationship the underpinning societal definition of vulnerability being a weakness couldn't be further-est from the truth. In fact, vulnerability is the key to emotional intimacy and deep connection. This thought process paired with making an adjustment on "how" you communicate as a couple can quite literally not only save your relationship from present or future demise, but it will enable you both to Thrive for decades to come.
It's time to Thrive, not just Survive!
The saddest moment for me as a therapist is the realization that not every one is going to make it into my office, as couples wait 7 years too long before they get any type of marital enrichment, which is unfortunate because the 21st century couple needs marital enrichment otherwise the majority of couples will become stuck, complacent, and continue the same emotional intimacy patterns of their respective parents, which is often subconscious. Thus, there is no real systemic evolution happening within our relationships and my passion is to inspire a different conversation about vulnerability and emotional intimacy for couples around the world, like many other pioneering researchers; such as Brene Brown and her pioneering research on vulnerability.
The truth is that the majority of our families (mine included) did Not Teach us how to Maintain Intimacy and Romance in our Relationships, however, the good news is that learning how to develop and maintain a close and intimate connection in our relationships can be learned. Over the past 65 years pioneering research has been done on the Science of Love and Relationships which can help enlighten us and inform different patterns in our emotional evolution as couples and as parents to our future generations.
Maintaining Love is now a Science!
Many of our family systems have raised us in the right or wrong paradigm or the "because I said so" mentality and that's all fine and well when it comes to instilling values and morals, however the con to that parenting style is that it does not take our "emotions or feelings" into consideration. In fact, many of us were raised without anyone asking us "how we feel" about something never the less make us feel heard and understood emotionally. So this "right and wrong" style of communication, which I like to call "political platform communication," follows us into our adult relationships and when it comes to intimacy and romance, this type of right and wrong "political platform" communication poisons our love quickly and replaces it with "contempt;" which according to research by Dr. John and Julie Gottman is the #1 sign of impending divorce.
The reason why a "right and wrong" communication approach ends up in divorce or a highly contemptuous relationship is because 1. in that type of communication one person is proven wrong and then silenced as a result or they become passionately angry and reactive 2. thus making it impossible for the one that is "wrong" to feel heard and repair emotionally from the disagreement. This creates distance and over time eventually becomes contempt. When you fight in the right or wrong paradigm or use "content or thought" as opposed to a "feeling focused" dialogue the conversation can quickly escalate or be shut down because neither party is not actually listening or connecting, they are just trying to "prove a point or be right" about something.
This sound familiar yet?
There are other factors that cause contempt, but the communication style of a couple is heavily influenced by "how" they are disagreeing or arguing about things in the relationship. In a nutshell, it is all about changing the mindset as well as "how" you both are communicating. For the record, it's not that you both don't know how to communicate, it's actually that you don't know how to communicate in a way that fosters deep emotional intimacy and connection and it's just because you have not been taught how to do so, yet. This E-Course will teach you how to communicate in an entirely different way than you are used to or taught to, which is exactly the goal.
It's time to change our mindset and process
surrounding communication & intimacy!
If you are reading this and thinking, I do say my feelings when communicating, I want you to know that saying how you feel is not the what this E-course is about. It's about teaching you the entire emotion focused communication process, which is not just saying how you feel. It's not that simple. However, if your at least comfortable being vulnerable with your feelings, than this e-course is a fantastic option for you because you are the exact type of person/couple that this E-Course was meant for, as it will most certainly up-level your relationship to an even deeper level of connection, intimacy, and sexuality. This E-Course will enable you to fine tune your communication process and give you step by step instruction that will deepen the intimacy even more no matter what level of connection you are both at currently. The goal here is to continue to grow and evolve in your relationship together, because if you are not growing together it is likely you both will grow apart.
Everything is constantly changing - This is the truth as we all
know it & relationship enrichment is the key to maintaining love.
This e-course is a compilation of everything I teach from an "educational & informational" perspective with my clients. Since this E-Course does not replace therapy, I do want to invite you to seek therapy in addition to taking this E-Course if you have a lot of built of contempt/resentment. If there is minimal or no contempt (meaning no trust, infidelity, or domestic violence issues etc.), than the educational tools this E-course teaches you will be perfectly aligned with your needs as a couple. In fact, even if you decide to go to therapy, this E-Course is an excellent addition to your relationship enrichment along side the therapeutic relationship you build with a mental health professional/therapist in your area. Below, I have outlined the entire E-Course for your purview.
Disclaimer: This Communication and Intimacy E-course is for educational and informational purposes only and is not meant as a substitute for or replacement of working with a mental health or medical health professional.
Master Communication & Intimacy E-course Outline
Module 1: Intro to Emotional Trigger
Module 2: Emotional Trigger Discovery
Module 3: Intro Emotional Trigger Management
Module 4: Emotional Trigger management
Module 5: Intro Family, Self, & Couple’s Boundaries
Module 6: Family, Self, & Couple’s Boundaries
Module 7: Intro to Why Emotion Focused Communication Works
Module 8: Why Emotion Focused Communication Works
Module 9: Intro to the Science of Love & Relationships
Module 10: The Science of Love & Relationships
Module 11: Intro Right & Wrong Vanquished
Module 12: Right & Wrong Vanquished
Module 13: Intro to Defensiveness & Awareness
Module 14: Defensiveness & Awareness
Module 15: Intro to Time Out, Flooding, and Repairing after an Argument
Module 16: Time Out, Flooding, and Repairing after an Argument
Module 17: Intro to Creating Rituals & the Nurturing Couples List
Module 18: Creating Rituals & the Nurturing Couples List
Module 19: Intro to Accountability, Expectation, & Respect
Module 20: Accountability, Expectations, & Respect
Module 21: Intro to Soft Start & Request for Change
Module 22: Soft Start & Requesting Change without Blame
Module 23: Active Listening, Feeling Heard, & Emotional Validation
Bonus "Role Play" Modules for Trigger Management
Our Master e-course program can be taken at any time, at any location in the world, which makes it very user friendly for couples that have families or businesses that are on the go.
Module 24: Role Play Video – Soft Start & Request For Change without Blame
Module 25: Role Play Video – Active Listening & Validating Multiple Realities
Module 26: Role Play Video – Repairing from an Argument, Forgiveness, & Setting Expectations
You Will Learn How To:
✔Increase emotional intimacy and deepen your connection with on point communication strategies and techniques.
✔Create an environment of appreciation and acknowledgment - 50 years of research shows happy relationships are 5x more positively acknowledging.
✔Take full accountability for what you both co-create and up-leveled your relationship’s integrity by doing so.
✔Repair from arguments successfully- no more sweeping under the rug! – No More Right or Wrong!
✔Set your partner up for success by asking for what you need, want, and desire and how to make a request for change without blame before you explode!
✔ Prevent contempt and resentment and learn to forgive; building unconditional positive regard.
✔ Increase awareness about your emotional triggers and how to manage them.
✔ All about the reptilian brain and how to request a time out when needed & the differences between a secure, anxious, and insecure attachment – set new Expectations.
✔ The importance of prioritizing your connection and intimacy even during conflict.
✔ How to be mindful of your own mirror projection and learn to invite yourself into honoring love for yourself and your partner –Insecurities addressed!
✔ How you are showing up in the relationship defensively and how to lower your guard and team up instead. – 100 – 100 not 50 -50
✔ How to move your communication with each other from a negative to positive frame and learning to forgive!
You will learn all about the Science of Love and Relationship and so much more…
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Join our Tribe where Couples Thrive, not just Survive!